Just Be.

I have spent the last 5 years of my life waiting... trying?...to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life. Hoping that someday a light bulb will go on and I go and do whatever it is. Hoping that all the stars will align and everything will make sense. Nothing has made sense since the day I graduated in May of 2007. I thought I would graduate, I did, with honors, I did, have a great summer, I did, get a wonderful job, I did... not. Meet new people? Nope. Lose all of my self-esteem? Oh that I did. Think that my college education was a big waste of time and money? Yup! Except for the amazing life-changing people I met there. I wouldn't trade them for the world. But that's it. I have spent HOURS trying to figure out what I am supposed to do just so I can pay back those stupid forever-haunting student loans. I have spent A LOT of time and money, mainly in therapy, trying to figure out, make sense of this madness called life. I have gone through hell and back with depression and I feel like I can say I'm on the other side of the darkness (knock on wood). I feel happy now, most of the time, I feel, peace (huh?). Why yes, I do. I can feel peace and breathe that sigh of relief that I waited to feel for so long. And again, this is thanks to some pretty amazing people God has put in my path.

But, in all the work that I've put in I have found the most peace in two little words that were in a 3 hour conversation with a man from Africa who I don't even remember his name. The words: Just Be. I know, it's random. maybe a little weird. Just Be. It applies to everything.

Just Be: still.  Just Be: happy.  Just Be: with God.  Just Be: good at something. Pick something. Anything! Just Be: it.

Just Be: present.  If you need to be sad or angry. Just Be.

Stop fighting the thoughts, the feelings, the stereotypes, the molds society tries to put you in. Just Be: you.


Isn't that good enough: Just Be you. You don't have to know what defines you. You don't have to map it out all in one afternoon or be pissed that you don't know where to start. You like art. Make it! For who? You, silly! Who else is going to appreciate it more than you?
Music? Or Thrift shopping? Or playing with dogs? Just Be the person you are when you are doing what makes you happiest. Just Be and it will all fall into place.... It has to eventually.

I have a feeling life is really simple. It's so simple we make it complicated. So many people before me have lived with far less than I have and much more of a drive to live life to the fullest. I know they didn't sit on their porch swings saying "I can't wait to start living my life." No, they were living with the thought of Just Be.

It makes me think of this quote: "You don't have to travel to a far country to see great beauty, it's all around you."

If you have the means to travel, do it. But if you don't, change the way you look at things. There is great beauty around us all. Just Be!

I swear God was talking through that man that day. I believe it was my own little sermon God made just for me. I needed to hear it. I prayed sooo many prayers asking for His help. So many times, I thought He forgot about me. But this whole time he was writing a sermon just for me. I'm a lucky girl!







*One day, in the future, I will feel sad, angry, and maybe even throw myself a pity party and I will have this to look at and remember to Just Be. *